June Goals - Recap

Here's the long awaited (psht) recap of June... I can't believe that this {YEAR} is 1/2 over.  It seems like we just finished Christmas & New Year's celebration.  And now, we're in the middle of summer. In just a few weeks, advertisements will begin again for back to school.  Time flies.   

HEALTH
1.  Just attempt to get some sort of exercise, even if it's walking the dogs, for 30 minutes per day.  Didn't happen, but I'm not going to stop trying!

HOME
1.  Hang curtain rod & curtains for living room.  Goal date:  6/21/2014  Nope.
3.  Hang IKEA shelves above desk, and organize the office space.  Goal date:  6/21/2014  Nope.  
 PERSONAL
1.  Stay on schedule for FAR review. DO NOT GET BEHIND!  I'm a little behind, but not much.  It's only because I decided to ignore Becker last weekend, so I'm going to count this one as a success.
2.  Finish Project #1 for baby shower.  Goal date:  6/7/2014
3.  Finish Project #2 for baby shower.  Goal date:  6/14/2014
4.  Finish Project #3 for baby shower.  Goal date:  6/21/2014
5.  Finish Project #4 for baby shower.  Goal date:  6/27/2014

I got all the baby shower projects done!  :o)  On time.  Woo hoo!  I'm looking forward to sharing photos in the coming weeks, once I get around to it.

A promise...

Things have felt a little dark in my world lately.  The overwhelming stress of the CPA exam, the uncertainty of the future, a bit of financial struggles, the added weight gain (physically) and just feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders has really taken a toll on my mental state.  

I feel defeated.  

I don't know how to shake these feelings, because it seems like nothing changes, no matter what I do.  I can only handle so much, and I feel like I'm going to break.

So, this morning, I was thinking, as I so often do.  

The only person who can change my feelings/viewpoints/moods is me.  ME.  (As if I need something else to handle... hah.)

I think I'm going to schedule an appointment with a counselor.  I found one online that accepts my insurance, she's close to my house, and she has longer hours so I can go after work.  

I'm going to create a study schedule for the CPA exam.  I work better when I have a plan, and a schedule, and the schedule is something I can control & dictate.

I can't change the financial situation quickly, but I can keep plugging along, doing what I've been doing, and trying to make positive changes.  I'm going to start using Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace plan, and go from there.  Baby steps.

I'm going to do the Lean Body for Her Challenge.  While the actual challenge is over, I'm going to do the workouts and see what I can do in the next 12 weeks.

I have to take control.  I can't keep feeling like this.  I'm seriously about to lose my mind.

High Five for Friday

I figured after posting such a Debbie Downer post yesterday, I should try to at least post a High Five for Friday.  

1.  It's Friday.  Seriously.  I cannot be more excited about the possibility of *trying* to relax this weekend.  I need to focus a bit on Becker & CPA review, and I have a list of things to accomplish for LJ's baby shower next weekend, but really, I can handle the crafty stuff.  It's what I live for!  :-)

2.  Alex & I finally got a document from the military that we've been fighting for, calling about, and just overall being extremely frustrated with since FEBRUARY 2013!  ::happy dance::

3.  I can't believe that Lindsey's shower is in just over a week.  And even more than that, that Adam's due date is only about 9 weeks away.  It's insane how FAST her pregnancy is flying.  I'm just looking forward to sweet baby boy snuggles!

4.  Becker is going well.  I'm on schedule, which is pretty impressive, considering it's 2 chapters + a TON of homework questions a week.  But I have no life.  It's only a year, it's only a year, IT'S ONLY A YEAR!

5.  We have a relaxing evening grilling out and hanging by the pool with my brother and his girlfriend last night.  

I'm struggling...

I {always} try to be happy for my friends when pregnancy announcements come out.  It seems like they are happening more & more frequently.  I've watched friends have baby #1, #2, and #3.  I've been supportive.  I read & comment on baby photos, pictures of friends with their kids, etc.  But today, I'm just disappointed.

I've read everything I can read.  I know that it's in God's time, if at all.  But quite frankly, I'm getting irritated & MAD at my situation.  I just don't understand.  I can't wrap my brain around it.  I sit back and am genuinely happy for my friends, but {WHEN THE HELL IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN?}

Today, I'm angry.

Hope & Faith

The struggle with PCOS sucks.  I won't lie.  But, sometimes you read or see things that give you a bit of hope.  I follow several groups on Facebook that deal with the struggles of PCOS, and women often post stuff that resonates with them.

Today, someone posted this...

"Infertility is NOT hard for God."

Genesis 18:14:  "Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son."

Ephesians 3:20:  "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

Jeremiah 32:27:  "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

I'm continually amazed at how God's Word brings comfort in trying times.

Weekend Recap

So, I started my High Five for Friday post on Friday, but then got side tracked, and never finished.  Here's a weekend recap instead...

Saturday night, we loaded up the car and headed to the drive-in theatre in Ennis.  It was fun, kind of.  We bought a new car, and couldn't figure out how to turn the cargo lights off in the back, so instead of being able to lay in the back of the X3, we ended up having to sit in the front seat.  Then, the movie we picked was HORRIBLE.  We ended up being so bummed by the entire situation that we just left and came home early.  

Sunday, we all got up pretty early (for us) and headed up to my parent's house for Father's Day.  Matt, Megan, Alex and I piled into the car, along with Chloe.  Alex finally got his new ATV.  :-)  So we spent some time riding it up & down the road, along the back woods, etc.  Sometimes, I really love that my parents live out in the country.  We did some shooting.  I'm still the reigning champion in my family (well, except my step-dad who has much more experience). We had a yummy dinner and then headed home.  We planned on leaving there around 7p, it was after 9.  Hah.  

Things are progressing pretty well with the CPA review for financial (FAR).  I've gathered that I'm never going to have a time where I don't feel at least partially overwhelmed.  :-)

Hard decisions...

Making grown up, adult decisions isn't always easy.

You know that we took on the responsibility of {T & J} back in May.  Every day, I hoped & prayed that things would get easier, that they would adjust to our lifestyle, and would all around just be happy.  They haven't.

Most days, J barely gets out of his kennel even with the door open.  We try to engage him, play with him, take him on walks, etc. but once we're finished, back to his kennel he goes. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

And T is having a hard time as well.  Probably not as hard as J is, but he's still not adapting.  Both boys have just struggled immensely with the change.  And who can blame them?  Their mom basically dropped them off at a dog park, and gave them to two people who are complete strangers to them.

Either way - we made the decision to send their mom an e-mail and encourage her to take them back.  They are so much happier at home, with her, really where they belong.  After several e-mail exchanges, she's agreed to bring them home with her.  The reason we got them is because she was taking a job in Germany, but apparently that fell through.  Either way...

I hope & pray she keeps them, and they live a happy, full life.  They are 7 & 8 and won't live forever.  But in my mind, it's not fair to torture them either.  My heart breaks for them every single day, and more than anything, I just want them to be happy.  Last night, we talked to them (yes, I talk to my dogs) about going back to their mom, and both boys got extremely happy.  Jumping around & playing. That's the happiest I've seen them since we got them. 

So while adult decisions aren't always fun, sometimes they are for the best.