2014 Reflection

I think it's extremely important to reflect on the past so that you can have clear direction for the future.  For me, leaving behind such an emotionally trying year is joyous, but I feel like I need to try to get to the root causes of why it was so bad so that I can have a successful and AMAZING 2015.

A sweet friend of mine on Facebook posted these questions for reflection.  I never thought about writing down my goals, making a mood board or anything of that nature.  It seems to be the best way to keep my goals in the front of my mind. 

1. What do I want to accomplish with 2015?

Gosh, I have so many things swirling around in my brain.  There's so many changes happening in my life.  Laying it all out like this is a lot harder than I imaged.

I'm going to really focus on this over the next week, and update with my desired goals, but I want to make them tangible goals with tangible results. 

 2. Who surrounds me? Are they positive, do they lift me up? How do they make an impact on my life? How do I impact them? 

 

I have the most wonderful support system.  I knew that, but I really learned how amazing they really are once I annouced my desires to pursue this position in NC.  Seriously.  I can't say that my support system has always been this strong, but as time has progressed, as I've gotten older, I've figured out what REALLY matters in this world. 

They are extremely positive, uplifting, motivating. 

 

Their impact on my life is great.  I love knowing that I always have someone who has my back, regardless of the storm.  It's a fantastic feeling.  I hope that my impact on them, and their lives, is as great as their impact on mine. 

3. Where do I stand?

 

You know, I'm honestly not sure how to answer this question or if I truly can.  Maybe this is something I need to revisit in a month or two.  I feel like I'm existing, but I know what I need to do to change and make things better.

4. What do I need to focus on?

 

I need to focus on my health, both mental and physical.  I need to focus on what's important in life, my family & friends.  I need to focus on my spiritual relationship, and figure out a way to revive my excitement for life in general.  I need to focus on being happy, or at the very least, pursuing happiness.  I need to focus on not being afraid, because God didn't make us to be fearful people.

 

5. What changes need to happen?

 

I need to leave all the negativity from 2014 behind and focus on 2015.

6. What regrets do I have?

 

I think the biggest regret I have from 2014 is the ending of several relationships that were important to me.  It's always hard to look back and realize what I could have done differently.  And honestly, maybe there isn't anything I could have done differently. 

That's the emotion I have to take into 2015. 

7. What have I learned?

 

I've learned that the only person I can control is me.  I can't make people be kind, I can't make people change their attitude.  I can change the way I respond.

8. What do I need to learn?

 

I need to learn to focus on today, and stop worrying about tomorrow. 

 

I need to learn and remember that God is in control, and there's a reason why he laughs when I make plans.  He always provides, and He's shown me that time and time again. 

 

I need to learn that I can't survive this crazy world alone, and that I need to ask for help. 

I need to learn that my primary focus has to be on myself and my family, including friends that I so dearly think of as family. 

 

Cha, cha, cha, changes.

So I'm pretty sure it's been no secret that 2014 has sucked.  Majorly.  It's been a series of ups and downs, but it has felt like mostly downs.  I've been incredibly unhappy at work, I feel like I've been inundated with all the various baby annoucements/births, and things have been rocky a bit financially.  Quite frankly, it's been a shitty year, and I'm so darn happy to be saying GOODBYE to 2014!

Several months ago, I started the conversation with work about a raise.  I was paid significally under the market value for my position, and I wanted them to do something about it.  I didn't figure they would, but I wanted to give them the chance to do so.  I also began the conversation of looking for a new position with a recruiter friend that I met last year. 

Since Alex & I met, we've shared dreams of living somewhere other than Texas.  I've been here for the majority of my life, and definitely all of my adult life with the exception of a few months where I lived in Albuquerque, NM. 

In October, fed up from work, and looking for a change, I pulled up jobs in North Carolina.  Not expecting even a call back, I applied for jobs that were (in my mind) a little more advanced that what I thought I could handle.  Imagine my surprise when I received a call back.

I went through two phone interviews, and then the company flew me to their NC facility to go through another 3.5 hours of questioning.  That was two weeks ago.  A week ago, I accepted their offer to become the new Corporate Accounting Manager.  Yesterday, I turned in my notice at my current job. 

North Carolina is absolutely beautiful, and I'm so beyond thrilled to have the ability to venture out & explore.  I can't wait to hike in the mountains, hang out by the ocean.  Greensboro is literally almost right in the middle of the state, towards the north, and we're approximately 2.5 hours from the mountains and from the ocean. 

I'll be living relatively close to my Grandma Taylor, my Dad, my Aunts & Uncles, and cousins. 

But, leaving doesn't come without great sacrifices.  I go between bawling my eyes out at the thought of leaving my Mom and my bestie, Lindsey & her boy, Adam, to being elated and excited about the next chapter in my life.  I'm beyond grateful for the technology that will allow me to still see their smiling faces on Skype and talk on the phone without paying the long distance price.

And more than that - I'm so appreciative of all the well wishes, congrats, and the people who have truly shown me what having real friends & family feels like.  I know it's not easy for anyone to go through the experience of someone they love moving away. 

It's not easy for me either. 

The journey will be worth it though.