I said I wouldn't talk much about PCOS on this blog, but well, it's my blog and I'll do what I want.
I've had one of the roughest weekends known to man in a LONG time. It has honestly felt like everything that could go wrong, has. Without getting into too much detail that no one cares to know about, I had a VERY long period in April, and after going well past the time it should have ended, I called my doctor. She put me on a 10 day dose of progesterone. Things were going great, I had energy again, felt wonderful, the bleeding had stopped, and then the prescription ran out. And I'm back to where I started. Not only am I back to where I started, but it's my birthday and Mother's Day weekend. Anyone who gets their hormones messed with my natural or unnatural means knows that it sometimes makes you feel irrational.
All day yesterday, I went from crying to angry. ALL FREAKING DAY! I contemplated over and over again telling Alex to leave, because he deserved to be with someone who could give him a child someday. That someone probably isn't me. Then I cried myself to sleep. Woke up around 5:15, cried some more, got up and laid on the couch, cried some more. I'm not sure I have any tears left to cry.
Mother's Day is a joyous occasion to celebrate all the Mothers out there. But what about the women that aren't mothers? The ones who have struggled emotionally with the fact that they may never have kids? The ones who have been to the doctor, time and time again, hoping for something that will give them a bit of encouragement? And get nothing. Because PCOS won't go away. It can't be treated, and while the symptoms themselves can be treated, the overall picture doesn't change. And that makes me feel hopeless and broken and sad. Incredibly sad. Sadness that means I'd rather be alone than drag anyone else through this miserable journey.
I know I should be happy, because I have a lot of good in my life too. But it always seems to go back to this.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Chipotle
I'm beyond annoyed. I adore Chipotle, I always have. I've been a big fan of the place since the first Dallas location opened. However, something happened today while I was at Chipotle that made me not so impressed anymore.
Our military does not get the recognition they deserve, and it's incredibly thoughtful when an organization/restaurant/location/etc. will offer them a discount. I'm not saying that it's required that every entity do so, but it's definitely a nice perk. What tends to annoy me, and quite frankly, piss me off is when these establishments offer a police discount, but not a military discount.
I love our law enforcement personnel. I think they put themselves on the line to protect our laws on a daily basis, and I'm not saying that they too shouldn't get a discount. But what I am saying is that without the military protecting our freedoms, the police would have no laws to police except that of a ruler or dictator.
So, I'm going to add Chipotle to the list of places I'll no longer frequent.
Our military does not get the recognition they deserve, and it's incredibly thoughtful when an organization/restaurant/location/etc. will offer them a discount. I'm not saying that it's required that every entity do so, but it's definitely a nice perk. What tends to annoy me, and quite frankly, piss me off is when these establishments offer a police discount, but not a military discount.
I love our law enforcement personnel. I think they put themselves on the line to protect our laws on a daily basis, and I'm not saying that they too shouldn't get a discount. But what I am saying is that without the military protecting our freedoms, the police would have no laws to police except that of a ruler or dictator.
So, I'm going to add Chipotle to the list of places I'll no longer frequent.
Friday, May 2, 2014
High Five for Friday
These are going to be quick... but I wanted to keep posting the positive things going on in life.
1. I paid for the first section of the CPA exam yesterday. I'm currently waiting for the NTS (Notice to Schedule) so I can register for an exact date to take audit. :-)
2. My birthday is officially just over a week away!
3. PINK IMPACT is less than a week away! I'm so looking forward to this year. The positive of being in Conference B is that you get to see all the sneak peaks from Conference A.
4. I've lost 4.6 lbs so far on Advocare's 24 Day Challenge. I'm pretty darn proud of myself!
5. But today was hard. It's our Day 2 spread pot luck at work, and I ate a piece of cake. It was yummy, but I'm not sure what it did to my overall day. The good news is that I stayed away from the enchiladas and tacos, and ate a salad instead.
1. I paid for the first section of the CPA exam yesterday. I'm currently waiting for the NTS (Notice to Schedule) so I can register for an exact date to take audit. :-)
2. My birthday is officially just over a week away!
3. PINK IMPACT is less than a week away! I'm so looking forward to this year. The positive of being in Conference B is that you get to see all the sneak peaks from Conference A.
4. I've lost 4.6 lbs so far on Advocare's 24 Day Challenge. I'm pretty darn proud of myself!
5. But today was hard. It's our Day 2 spread pot luck at work, and I ate a piece of cake. It was yummy, but I'm not sure what it did to my overall day. The good news is that I stayed away from the enchiladas and tacos, and ate a salad instead.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
May Goals
How in the HELL is it May already?! This year is flying by. While that's a blessing because the things that I can hardly wait for are approaching very quickly, I'm stressing because time is going by sooooo fast!
Here are my May goals:
Just for your info:
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Relevant
T - Time-Bound
HEALTH
1. Get my butt in the gym. Since started the Advocare 24 Day Challenge on 4/28, I need to up my working out. I'm going to do the Lean Body for Her Challenge. While the actual "challenge" is over, I have the work out plan, and I'm going to focus on that for the next 12 weeks. Goal date: 5/31/2014
HOME
1. Hang curtain rod & curtains for living room. Goal date: 5/11/2014
3. Hang IKEA shelves above desk, and organize the office space. Goal date: 5/11/2014
PERSONAL
1. PASS AUDIT! I sit for the first section of the CPA exam in May. I'm nervous, but I'm ready. I'm prepared. And by the time the actual test gets here, I will have studied my behind off! :-) Goal date: TBD based on when my exam gets scheduled.
Here are my May goals:
Just for your info:
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Relevant
T - Time-Bound
HEALTH
1. Get my butt in the gym. Since started the Advocare 24 Day Challenge on 4/28, I need to up my working out. I'm going to do the Lean Body for Her Challenge. While the actual "challenge" is over, I have the work out plan, and I'm going to focus on that for the next 12 weeks. Goal date: 5/31/2014
HOME
1. Hang curtain rod & curtains for living room. Goal date: 5/11/2014
3. Hang IKEA shelves above desk, and organize the office space. Goal date: 5/11/2014
PERSONAL
1. PASS AUDIT! I sit for the first section of the CPA exam in May. I'm nervous, but I'm ready. I'm prepared. And by the time the actual test gets here, I will have studied my behind off! :-) Goal date: TBD based on when my exam gets scheduled.
3. Start work on baby shower decor items. Goal date: 5/18/2014
3. Sew maxi skirt from knit fabric. Goal date: 5/25/2014
3. Sew maxi skirt from knit fabric. Goal date: 5/25/2014
April Goals Recap
April was a good month for GOALS! It's kind of exciting to be able to check stuff off the ol' list. :-)
HEALTH
1. Do some sort of physical activity, 3x per week. Goal date: 4/30/2014
Done! While it wasn't intense work outs, heavy weight lifting, etc. it was a physical activity. Alex and I started walking several nights a week around the "circle" of our apartment complex.
HOME
1. Hem curtains for living room. Goal date: 4/12/2014 Completed: 4/12/2014
2. Hang curtain rod & curtains for living room. Goal date: 4/12/2014
So, yeah. I kind of ran into a snag with this one. Apparently, hanging the curtain rods within 6" of the window isn't going to be possible with the way the framing is done. All I was left with is a GIGANTIC hole in the wall. So this one is on hold until I can get to Lowe's, get some wall putty, and some paint to fix the hole. Maybe by the end of the month?
An update update: Well, the hole still remains in the wall. I haven't made it to Lowe's. Oops. This one will be showing up again for the May goal list. :-)
3. Hang IKEA shelves above desk, and organize the office space. Goal date: 4/12/2014
After the issue with the curtain rods, I decided to hold off on this one for fear of MORE holes in the walls. LOL.
PERSONAL
1. Finish bunting for Eve. Goal date: 4/17/2014 Completed: 4/2/2014
2. Meet with Jeana to start baby shower planning. Completed: 4/25/2014
3. Pick out fabric for baby shower decor. Completed: 4/29/2014
HEALTH
Done! While it wasn't intense work outs, heavy weight lifting, etc. it was a physical activity. Alex and I started walking several nights a week around the "circle" of our apartment complex.
HOME
2. Hang curtain rod & curtains for living room. Goal date: 4/12/2014
So, yeah. I kind of ran into a snag with this one. Apparently, hanging the curtain rods within 6" of the window isn't going to be possible with the way the framing is done. All I was left with is a GIGANTIC hole in the wall. So this one is on hold until I can get to Lowe's, get some wall putty, and some paint to fix the hole. Maybe by the end of the month?
An update update: Well, the hole still remains in the wall. I haven't made it to Lowe's. Oops. This one will be showing up again for the May goal list. :-)
3. Hang IKEA shelves above desk, and organize the office space. Goal date: 4/12/2014
After the issue with the curtain rods, I decided to hold off on this one for fear of MORE holes in the walls. LOL.
PERSONAL
4. Sew maxi skirt from knit fabric. Goal date: 4/30/2014
5. Start work on baby shower decor items. Goal date: 4/30/2014
I didn't get the maxi skirts sewn, and I haven't started working on the shower items, simply because I haven't received the fabric yet. But May. :-) Definitely May.
5. Start work on baby shower decor items. Goal date: 4/30/2014
I didn't get the maxi skirts sewn, and I haven't started working on the shower items, simply because I haven't received the fabric yet. But May. :-) Definitely May.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Soy. Bummed.
So, I'm currently on Day 3 of the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. I thought I'd use this to jump start my weight loss plan. Today, I decided to skip my normal breakfast of oatmeal, fruit & nuts, to include a meal replacement shake. You know, for time sake. Well, one of the things that people with PCOS should stay away from is soy. What's one of the ingredients in the Advocare Meal Replacement shakes? SOY!
Totally. Bummed.
Monday, April 28, 2014
PCOS
PCOS isn't something I talk about, ever, on this blog. But, as I'm experiencing life and learning more and more about this disorder, I feel like if I can share my story, and just ONE person learns more about PCOS, I've done what I can do. :-)
Let me just give this as a disclaimer though. The details (while I'll leave them to a minimum) are kind of graphic in parts, so if you don't care to know about the inner workings of the female body, you might skip this post. Don't say you haven't been warned. Hah.
In June 2009, I was having some cycle issues. I would skip a cycle, or two, and then when it did finally come, it was incredibly heavy. I ended up making an appointment with my OB/GYN to discuss what my options were to regulate things, and I went in expecting that it was all stress related. What I found out at my appointment was NOT stress at all, although I can't say for sure that the stress didn't make things worse.
PCOS. PCOS is short for polycystic ovarian syndrome. I didn't know much, or anything, about PCOS before this diagnosis, and I'm still learning some 5 years later. But PCOS is no joke. The side effects and symptoms of PCOS are depressing in itself, but they are manageable.
Some of the side effects include:
Let me just give this as a disclaimer though. The details (while I'll leave them to a minimum) are kind of graphic in parts, so if you don't care to know about the inner workings of the female body, you might skip this post. Don't say you haven't been warned. Hah.
In June 2009, I was having some cycle issues. I would skip a cycle, or two, and then when it did finally come, it was incredibly heavy. I ended up making an appointment with my OB/GYN to discuss what my options were to regulate things, and I went in expecting that it was all stress related. What I found out at my appointment was NOT stress at all, although I can't say for sure that the stress didn't make things worse.
PCOS. PCOS is short for polycystic ovarian syndrome. I didn't know much, or anything, about PCOS before this diagnosis, and I'm still learning some 5 years later. But PCOS is no joke. The side effects and symptoms of PCOS are depressing in itself, but they are manageable.
Some of the side effects include:
- Irregular menstrual cycles
- Weight gain
- Difficulty losing weight
- Excess hair growth on face & body
- Darkened patches of skin
- Skin tags
- Infertility
- Thinning hair
- Insulin resistance
- Type 2 diabetes
- High cholesterol and high triglycerides
- High blood pressure
- Cysts on the ovaries
- Pelvic pain
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Sleep apnea
- Decreased sex drive
- Increase in stress levels
Luckily, I'm not impacted by ALL of these symptoms, but I have bolded the ones that really have affected me, personally.
I think the one that has had the biggest effect on me is the increased levels of stress & anxiety. Things bother me that shouldn't, and I literally feel myself shutting down when things don't always go the way I plan. I've had a physical therapist tell me to invest in a mental therapist to help overcome the anxiety and stress levels that she can see in my body.
I personally have an incredibly HARD time losing weight. I don't eat large portions, and I don't necessarily eat a lot, but the weight keeps coming. For the rest of my life, I'm going to have to be on a low carb, high protein "diet" although it's going to be my life style. It's the only thing I can do. Doctors & nutritionists that specialize in PCOS recommend a paleo lifestyle to help combat some of the effects of PCOS.
And the HARDEST part of all is the infertility.
I'm still learning. In fact, I learn something new every day. I'm still combating this disorder, and I will until the day I die. But I'm bigger than this, I'm bigger than a label.
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