Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a day that is meant to recognize all of the amazing work that your mom, grandma, stepmom, etc. do in your life each and every day.  It's a wonderful holiday, really.  I love being able to spoil my mom and tell her how much I appreciate her on this day.  I should do it more often than just one day a year, and I try, but I know that this day is the day that I really focus on nothing but mom.  My mom and I have the most amazing relationship.  She is the greatest mom a girl could ask for.  She's sometimes blunt, but she tells me what I need to hear even if it's not the easiest thing to handle.  She was a single mom for much of her life, even when my dad was around, he wasn't super involved in our lives.  But even as a single mom, she was completely involved and interested in our lives.  I can remember one Christmas in particular that she talked about how it was just us, the three amigos, my mom, my brother, and I.  And even though she has since remarried, and the marriage brought in two additional children, I still feel like it'll always be the three amigos.  I'm lucky to have the mom I have, and I wouldn't trade her for the world!

But... Mother's Day is also hard for me too.  I try not to let it be, but there's no way around it, really.  I want kids, there's no denying that.  But maybe it's not in God's plan for me.  I'm trying very hard to accept that, and know that it'll happen if it's meant to be.  But I see so many people who were married (hell, couples who didn't even start dating until after Marcus and I were married) who have kids, who are working on their second child, etc.  And I'm bitter.  I am genuinely happy for those people who are able to have kids, to announce their pregnancies, and enjoy life with children.  But in the back of my mind, I wonder if that's EVER going to be us. And maybe it won't be, but if that's the case, I really wish I could know that now and start working on being okay with it.  But then I get to watch the comments on Facebook about how Mother's Day is only about the "mothers" out there, and I want so desperately to be a part of that club.

So yes, I know I suck for being depressed on Mother's Day.  But it's life.  It's how I feel, and the people that don't like it, can kiss my lovely behind.  I really am excited to spend this Mother's Day with my mom.  I made her a cake (even though it looks like a disaster) and we're going to her house to make homemade ice cream, coupled with hamburgers, chips, and hanging out.  It really should be a good day.