Women at War

Today is an exceptional day.  Today starts the group bible study of Women at War by Jan Greenwood over at The Beautiful Deep.  I had the privilege of hearing Jan speak during the 2013 Pink Impact Conference, and I couldn't be more excited to embark in this journey of self discovery and forgiveness of those negative relationships with other women.  

I think as women, we are constantly in competition with one another.  So much so, that in the progress, we're tearing each other down too.  I'd like to invite anyone and everyone who is interested in joining this study to hop on over to The Beautiful Deep to sign up.  It's all online, so there are no excuses of not being to show up somewhere to participate.  

  
Amazon has the Kindle edition for $9.99.  Make the investment, and let's start a revolution together!

The difference a year can make...

It's funny how someone who was just a stranger last year, can mean so much to you now.  It's terrible that someone who meant so much to you last year, can be just a stranger now. It's amazing what a year can do.

I've thought about taking this blog down numerous times over the past 10 months, but I kept coming back to the fact that this blog is mine, and I don't care who reads it.  I don't care who knows how wonderful things have become, what amazing things have happened to me since the separation and divorce, how much I've bounced back and became the girl I always was inside.  You see, when a person is unhappy with their life and their marriage, they become a bitter shell.  It's a miserable way to live, but it was my life for the past several years.  

As I quickly, and I mean quickly, approach the anniversary of my birth almost 30 years ago, I'm reminded how lucky I am, how much love and support I have in my life, how the smile of one man can change my day, how amazing I am at the blessings I've been handed by God, and how powerful His work is in my life.  

Every day is a precious.  Every day, every single moment, is a moment to be cherished.  In the past year, I've really learned what kind of person I am, and more than that, the kind of person I want to become.  In honor of my approaching 30th birthday, I wanted to do several lists of "30."  This list of 30 is a "tribute" to the amazing changes and growth personally over the last year.

1.  God, church, and my ever changing relationship with both.  I made a promise to God standing in the court room fighting with Marcus over Chloe that if he'd just let me get through this and keep Chloe, I'd find my way back to church.  It took me a couple of months after all said and done, but I have been faithfully attending church at Gateway and studying the Bible.  I'm thankful for God's many blessings in my life.  

2.  Alex.  About 7 months ago, I met my "hottie neighbor guy" (HNG to all of my friends).  He is, without a doubt, the man of my dreams.  So much so, that sometimes I swear we share a brain.  I always joke with him that "my half of the brain" would like to do this, or think this, separately from his side.  I've never met another person who knows what I'm thinking even before I do, who finishes my thoughts, who thinks the same as me most of the time.  I don't know if I believed in soul mates before him, but I most certainly do now.  I've never loved another person the way I love him.  I can remember telling Mom very early on, but not knowing if he felt the same way.  But... he most certainly does, and it's been an amazing journey.  I can't wait for many more minutes, hours, days, months, and years with him.

3.  My Mom.  This woman has always been my rock.  The cheers I heard when I told her about the divorce could be heard around the world.  I am thankful for my changing relationship with her.  I've learned to see her differently, to reach out to her when I needed her, and to not be afraid to ask for help.  "The more I grow, the more I realize that my mom is the best best friend that I ever had."  

4.  Carie.  When times get tough, you find out who your real friends are.  She's a real friend, a trooper, my shoulder to cry on, the friend I laugh with, the sister I never had.  "She's my person.  If I murdered someone, she's the person I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.  She's my person." ~ Grey's Anatomy

5.  Our new car!  It's a beauty.  I mean, come on, it's a 2013 Mercedes Benz C250 in bright red.  WITH RED SEAT BELTS!  It was always my dream car.  We signed the papers on it 1/29/2013.  

6.  The fact that I'm one step closer, one semester closer, to finishing my second Master's degree.  And, I have an amazing support system that has yet to stop cheering for me, every single step of the way.

7.  A new career, with a new company.  I never thought I'd be in this role, pursuing this dream.  But I love it.

8.  My silly pup.  I don't know what I'd do without her.  But more than that, I love the relationship that she has with Alex.  They are pretty much inseparable.  It's the sweetest thing, EVER!  

9.  Building a closer relationship with Matt.  He lives close now.  Even though we're scheduled to move in 4 months, it's nice knowing he's there.  And we are there for him.

10.  A re-connection with a dear old friend.  Meridith, I'm talking about you.  I can't wait to be a huge part of Morgan & Mercer's lives, and watch those sweet baby boys grow up.  I'm just sorry it took me so long.

11.  Me.  I'm thankful for me.  For my outlook on life, for my appreciation of those around me, for being able to say I love you, I appreciate you, I cherish you to the people who deserve to hear it the most.

12.  I'm over the moon excited for all the engagements, weddings, pregnancy announcements, and BIRTHS that show up on my Facebook page on a daily basis.  It's miraculous that so many wonderful things are happening to so many amazing people.

13.  To live in a state that surrounded West, Texas after their MASSIVE fertilizer plant explosion with an outpouring of love, life, funds, blood, tears, support, etc.  It's an inspiring thing when Carter Blood Care announces that they have too many blood donations and would like for individuals to wait until summer months when they need it most.  Or, when the Mayor of West announces that they simply can't hold anymore physical donations.  That, my friends, is awesome.

14.  For the opportunity to attend Pink Impact 2013.  Inspiring.  Empowering.  Amazing.  Can't wait for 2014.  I can't say enough about this experience.  Expect another blog post on that one.  :-)

15.  To be excited for the future.  To look forward to tomorrow.  To just be in awe of His blessings.  

16.  To be able to get out of the house and go places, to be able to travel, experience new things.  THREE TRIPS IN THREE MONTHS!  Now, that's what I'm talking about.  :-)

17.  For the opportunity to finally meet some of Alex's family in June.  I can't wait.  

18.  For being down to one car right now.  It means that we're sharing a car, and Alex is taking me to work most mornings.  It's a logistical nightmare, but I love having that extra time with him before work.

19.  To have been able to distinguish the "friends" who were there for the drama from the "FRIENDS" that are there through thick and thin.  It's awesome to really know who your friends are.  

20.  To know that I can make it on my own.  

21.  To finally feel confidence in myself, my skin, my appearance, my abilities.  I've never had this before, but it's good.  Confidence is an amazing thing that can take you through so much.  

22.  To have experienced a shift in my priorities.  It used to be that I hated coming home, I'd rather put my heart and soul into being the best I could be at work.  That meant I put a lot of stress on myself professionally.  And while I'm still very professionally minded, my priorities have changed.  My relationships are way more important, and I dare say that I love coming home at night.   

23.  I'm content with where I am in life.  This quote says it best... "To be content doesn't mean you don't desire more, it means you're thankful for what you have and patient for what's to come."  ~ Tony Gaskins

24.  For my ability to smile more, find the goodness in the little things, and to look at the stars more at night.

25.  To be making progress on my 101 things to do in 1001 days!  It's silly, but this is the second time I've started it.  I don't think I accomplished more than 10 items on the first list.  

26.  To be excited about doing 30 "kind" things for others in the next 14 days.  I got this idea from Rachel (yay Rachel!) and she did the same as she approached her 30th.  I'm hoping to start this weekend.  Let the brainstorming begin.

27.  To finally be happy.  Happiness is the greatest thing in the world.  

28.  Struggling with the possibility of infertility has always been next to impossible for me.  But it doesn't seem so big anymore.  If it happens, GREAT.  If not, I'm not any less loved, and I don't feel broken anymore.  It's strange, but it's awesome too.

29.  That I'm starting to find forgiveness in my heart for the past.  Not being able to forgive doesn't hurt the person who needs forgiveness, it hinders my development as a person.  So I'm learning...  

30.  To finally be able to start embracing 30.  I mean, I can't change the inevitable and I'd much rather turn 30 than the alternative.  29 was the most amazing year, and I can only believe that 30 and beyond will be that much better.  Here's to enjoying the next two weeks in my 20s, and bringing in 30 with a bang!

May Goals

It's relatively safe to say that I completely skipped over March & April goals.  I wish I had a great reason, but I don't.  I was just too preoccupied with life and doing things as they came up, instead of following a plan.  And really, I have to believe that the goals are set to give me something to achieve through out the month.  I refuse to feel bad if I don't get them done!  :o)  

So without further ado - I am skipping right to May goals...


Health

1.  Continue with my weekly workout routine.  A minimum of 5 work outs per week, no matter how small.
2.  DRINK MORE WATER!  Another *must* do goal!
3.  Start and finish the Advocare 24 Day Challenge.

Home

1.  Make a minimum of one new recipe per week for dinner.  Healthy!
2.  Menu plan, and stick to it.
3.  Bring lunch to work a minimum of 3 days a week. 
4.  Grocery shop on the weekends, or Thursday evening. 

Personal

1.  Sign up for professional pictures.  Pick a date with Shani. 
2.  Read two + books for fun.
3.  Accomplish 3 items from my 101 things list.
4.  Accomplish 10 items from my "running" to do list.

February Goals - Recap

Clearly, since I'm just now recapping February, it didn't go so well.  It's always awesome to update this blog with a BIG, FAT, FAILURE!  But at least I'm trying to keep myself honest.  And maybe I didn't fail as bad as I think I did.  Hahahahaha.

Health

1.  Run a 28 miles... That's only 1 mile per day.  Totally doable.  I *must* start focusing my training for the half marathon in May.  This one didn't happen.  I don't think I ran a single mile in February.  Yay me!
2.  DRINK MORE WATER!  Another *must* do goal!   I didn't put a restriction or a measurable goal on this one on purpose.  I know that I don't drink enough water, but I also knew that I needed to make a change.  I've tried really hard to just make it a point to drink water at night, keep water at work, etc.  So I'm calling this one a SUCCESS!!
3.  Limit Starbucks to only one per week.  I actually surprised myself with this one.  I achieved it.  :-)  I made it a point to only get Starbucks, if I had one at all, on the way to church as a weekend treat. 
4.  Cancel 24 Hour Fitness.  I'm paying $50 and working out at home anyways.  I canceled 24 Hour, but I'm thinking of joining up at LA Fitness, since they have a special price with work.  It's only $30 per month, instead of the $50 at 24 Hour. 

Home

1.  Make a minimum of one new recipe for dinner.  Done!  :-)  I'm having way too much fun trying new recipes. 
2.  Menu plan, and stick to it.   Hahah!  Didn't happen.  Life involved a bit of DRAMA in February, and we were lucky to eat, much less menu plan. 
3.  Only go out to eat ONE day a week!  This one didn't happen either, much to the same reason as above.
4.  Bring lunch to work a minimum of 4 days a week.  I'm calling this one a failure, as I tried to bring my lunch as often as possible, but it wasn't 4 days a week.
5.  Create a personal budget and stick to it.  I think I did well with this one.  The budget is created.  :-)  And I've managed to stick pretty closely to it.  I was able to pay off 3 of 4 credit cards in the month of February, so I call that a success. 

Personal

1.  Sign up for professional pictures.  Pick a date with Shani.  FAIL!2.  Enjoy my first Valentine's Day with Alex.  Success!  :-)  It was an absolutely wonderful day.  I'm blessed beyond belief. 
3.  Read two + books for fun.  This one didn't happen, and it's a shame.  I love reading, but I just don't find myself making as much time for it as I once did.
4.  Accomplish at least 4 items from my 101 things list.  This one didn't happen either.

February Goals

Goodness!  Where did the last month go?!  It's literally flown by, but it's been one of the happiest months I've had in a long time.  My divorce was finalized on 1/29/2013, A & I started going back to church and I *love* it, A put in his move-out notice with our apartments, so we're officially moving in together as of 4/1/2013.  Ekk!  :-)  Oh!  And, we bought a new car.  I'll post pictures this weekend.

However, with another new month comes another set of goals.  :-)
Here are my goals for February.

Health

1.  Run a 28 miles... That's only 1 mile per day.  Totally doable.  I *must* start focusing my training for the half marathon in May.
2.  DRINK MORE WATER!  Another *must* do goal!
3.  Limit Starbucks to only one per week.
4.  Cancel 24 Hour Fitness.  I'm paying $50 and working out at home anyways.
Home

1.  Make a minimum of one new recipe for dinner.
2.  Menu plan, and stick to it.
3.  Only go out to eat ONE day a week!
4.  Bring lunch to work a minimum of 4 days a week. 
5.  Create a personal budget and stick to it. 

Personal

1.  Sign up for professional pictures.  Pick a date with Shani. 2.  Enjoy my first Valentine's Day with Alex.
3.  Read two + books for fun.
4.  Accomplish at least 4 items from my 101 things list.

January Goals - Recap

So January didn't go so well... it started off strong, and then school started, and things went WAY down hill from there.  But, in an effort to be honest, here's where my goals ended up...

Health

1.  Run a minimum of 31 miles... That's only 1 mile per day.  Totally doable.  This didn't happen.  I slacked.  I started off strong, ran 8 miles in the first 8 days, and then bam.  Nothing since.  FAIL.
2.  DRINK MORE WATER!  Another fail.  It didn't happen.
3.  No Starbucks for the entire month.  A & I went to Teavana and bought some healthy teas, so I'm going to make it a point to drink that tea for the month, and stay away from Starbucks.  I made it through the first 18 days, which for me was a RECORD!  I've had three chais in the month of January, but coming from drinking one a day, I'd say this was a pretty good accomplishment.  However, since I did have at least one, I'm marking this one as a fail too.
4.  Cancel 24 Hour Fitness, sign up for a new gym membership at LA Fitness.  FAIL!  I'll get to it this week.
5.  Keep up with the UG Challenge(s) for the month.  Another thing I started off strong with, but managed to screw up by the end of the month.  Ahhh!

Home

1.  Make a minimum of one new recipe for dinner.  I'm kind of proud of myself for this one... I've made not only one new recipe for dinner, but 4 new recipes for dinner.  :-)  I need to blog about them.  I'll add that to my "to do" list. 
2.  Menu plan, and stick to it.  I menu planned, but we deviated from the plan, and ate out a lot more than I had originally wanted to do.
3.  Go through closet, get rid of clothes that are too big, and stuff that I just don't wear anymore.  Done!  I managed to go through my closet and get rid of two large trash bags full of clothes.  I took them to Carie to see if she wanted any of the clothes, and donated the rest of them to a donation drive at church.

Personal

1.  Get a massage.  FAIL!  Didn't happen, should have happened, but didn't happen. 
2.  Organize calendar with 2013 Spring school schedule.  Done.  But then again, I'm anal, so who didn't figure that would happen.
3.  Read two + books for fun.  Another thing I accomplished.  I read The Host by Stephanie Meyer and Insatiable by Meg Cabot. 
4.  Accomplish at least 4 items from my 101 things list.  So for my 101 things... I reached a goal weight of 170, Alex & I went to the aquarium, Alex & I bought a new car, and I added three new recipes to my "try 12 new recipes."  I wasn't able to completely mark that one off the list, BUT, I did make progress, so I'm counting that as a success!

Strawberry Jello Cake

This recipe is kind of two fold... today, on my way to get my nails filled, I expressed to A the desire to bake something, and asked him what he wanted.  He said Strawberry Jello Cake.  Uh, say what?!  I've never even heard of Strawberry Jello Cake.  He sent me a recipe for one.  Okay - it looked easy enough AND it would help fulfill one of my January goals to try a new recipe.  I grabbed the ingredients and headed home.

He sent me the recipe from Chef Shell's Catering & Roadside Cafe... from Michigan, nonetheless, which if you knew A would shock you that he'd dare send a recipe from somewhere in Michigan.  Here's the direct link... Strawberry Jello Cake.

In typical ME fashion - the first attempt... A DISASTER!  I did exactly as the recipe said to do... put the "crust" in the oven at 375* for 30-35 minutes.  My "crust" looked more like a disc you'd throw in track, and I'm fairly certain just as hard.  So back to the store I went for a second cake mix.

Here's the recipe with my modifications...

Cake Crust

1 16.5 ounce Strawberry Cake Mix (none of the cake mixes I found were 18.5 ounces)

1 Stick of Butter (Melted)

1 Egg

Filing

2 cup Boiling Water

1 6 ounce Package Strawberry Jell-o

20 ounces Frozen Strawberries (Thawed) (For this, I ended up buying a 24 ounce container of frozen strawberries, and using the additional 4 ounces for the topping)

1/4 cup Sugar

Topping

1 8 ounce Cream Cheese (room temp)

1/4 cup Sugar

1 12 oz Whipped Topping

4 ounces Frozen Strawberries

Pre-heat oven to 375*.  

In a large bowl, mix cake mix, melted butter and egg until blended.  Press into a greased 9 x 13 cake pan.  Bake at 375 for 15 minutes.  Let cool.

Dissolve jell-o and sugar in boiling water.  Make sure it is completely dissolved before adding the strawberries.  (Cool slightly.)  (Mine was completely cool before I poured it over the cake, due to having to make the 2nd crust.)  Pour strawberries over cake and refrigerate until set.    

With an electric hand blender or stand mixer, beat cream cheese, sugar, and frozen strawberries until well blended.  Add whipped topping and continue to whip until smooth and creamy.  Top cake and chill for 3 - 4 hours.  

The recipe as a whole was super easy, once I figured out the length of time to bake the crust.  

D

I will update with a final determination on taste one it's completely chilled, as well as additional pictures.  The good news is that A is happy because he'll get his Strawberry Jello Cake, and I'm happy because I met ONE of my January goals.  :-)